


I'll Always Wake You

by Cait_Sidhe



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depressed Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gummiphones (Kingdom Hearts), Hurt/Comfort, Kingdom of Corona (Disney), M/M, Protective Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24647944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cait_Sidhe/pseuds/Cait_Sidhe
Summary: After the events in Corona, Sora isn't feeling well at all, though he isn't completely sure why. He debates calling Riku about it, but Riku senses his distress and calls first. Riku suggests they go through the events of Sora's adventure in that world to try to find the underlying reason for Sora's distress.
Relationships: Riku & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 136





	I'll Always Wake You

**Author's Note:**

> Sora really needs to talk about his feelings more.

Sora fidgeted with his GummiPhone, debating whether or not to call Riku. After Riku had discovered Sora had been suppressing his negative emotions to the point of creating a “rage-form” when they eventually overflowed, with the subsequent conversation leading Sora to admit that he’d been having some especially dangerous thoughts, Riku had insisted Sora promise to talk to him whenever he started feeling negative emotions, no matter how small. But Sora didn’t want to bother Riku over trivial things… well, maybe this wasn’t so trivial. Sora had trouble telling; he’d spent so long shoving all negative emotions away behind a wall that he wasn’t sure anymore what was urgent and what wasn’t. Sora still instinctively wanted to lock these feelings behind that wall, but he knew Riku would probably be upset if Sora continued doing so, because Riku seemed genuinely concerned about that, which had been a surprise to Sora. Sora had thought he was worthless, someone no one actually cared much about, even to the point he’d been toying with the thought they’d be better off if he vanished—yet Riku had actually started crying when Sora had expressed that, claiming that he would have no reason to live without Sora. Which was actually probably not healthy too come to think of it. Then later that night they both confessed they loved each other in the more-than-best-friends way, and then they’d kissed. So at the very least, Riku cared; Sora needed to stay alive for him… wait, where had that thought come from? He didn’t want to do… that, did he? Running away was what he’d been thinking, not… although, come to think of it, people would come after him if he ran away. So maybe doing more would be better; they’d get over it, and be better off afterwards. Wait, no. Riku needed him. He couldn’t do that. Any of that.

Suddenly, the phone rang, pulling Sora out of his thoughts; he nearly dropped it in surprise. Sora debated answering until he noticed Riku's number lit up the screen—if he avoided it, he’d only worry Riku more, so he pressed the green call-answer button.

“Sora, are you okay?” Riku asked immediately.

Sora nodded automatically and smiled. “Of course!”

Riku frowned. “Sora, you’re crying.”

Sora wiped the tears from his eyes the best he could; he hadn’t even noticed they’d started to fall. “No I’m not. So, what’s up?”

“Sora…” Riku sighed. “I called because… well, it’s hard to explain, but I felt that you needed me. I think it’s something to do with our link.” By link, Riku meant the dream-eater connection, which they’d discovered could sometimes warn Riku when Sora was in danger outside of dreams. Apparently that meant emotionally too. Great, now Sora would be bothering Riku even more.

“I’m fine, Riku,” Sora said stubbornly, though the crack in his voice belied his words.

Riku paused for a moment before he asked “Where are you?”

“Corona,” Sora supplied. He sat on a large moss-covered rock by a shallow rocky stream next to a lovely flowery meadow, sun high in the sky causing sunlight to dot the grass through the leaves of the trees, reflecting the complete opposite of his mood. “Why?”

“Are you alone?”

Sora nodded as he replied “Yeah.” Donald and Goofy were at the village market restocking their supplies after their adventure with Rapunzel and Flynn; Sora had wandered off to clear his head, which clearly had not gone so well. “Why?” he wondered again.

Riku shifted nervously and opened his mouth, then closed it, looking like he wasn’t quite sure how to phrase something. Finally, he whispered, emerald eyes sad, “Sora, please, answer truthfully. You’re not… you’re not thinking of hurting yourself, or running away, or doing anything else along those lines, are you?”

Sora shook his head quickly. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t do that.” It would hurt Riku if he did.

Riku sighed. “Sora, I didn’t ask if you’d do it, I asked if you were thinking of it.” 

Sora cringed. Caught in the… well, it wasn’t a lie, but a question-dodge for sure. He looked away and didn’t respond, letting his silence speak for him.

“Do you need me to be there?” Riku asked gently after a bit. 

“No, that’s okay,” Sora answered immediately. Sora didn’t want to inconvenience Riku any more than he already was doing.

“I’m not doing anything particularly important right now, so it wouldn’t be an issue,” Riku said, sensing Sora’s discomfort. It was nice to hear, but saying it wasn’t an issue didn’t exactly quell that thought; Sora couldn’t help thinking Riku was just saying that to console him.

“Tell me what happened,” Riku said.

“Ummm. I’m not exactly sure? I mean, I dunno. It’s stupid. I shouldn’t be reacting this way.”

“Your feelings aren’t stupid, Sora. If something hurts, it hurts. Just because there are objectively worse things doesn’t invalidate what you feel.”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Sora dismissed.

Riku looked contemplative. “Okay. Why don’t you start at the beginning? Tell me what you’ve been doing in that world. Corona, wasn’t it? It looks like a very pretty world, from what I can see.”

Sora smiled. “It is. I’d really like to show you it sometime. It’s so pretty! There’s all these rivers and forests and a lake and meadows! Oh, and flowers everywhere, and this giant tower in the forest that a princess was locked up in.”

“A princess was locked in a tower?”

“Yup! First we met this guy named Flynn, and then came across this tower. Inside was a girl named Rapunzel who had never been outside her tower before! But she really wanted to see the lanterns up-close—the town sends them out every year to remember the lost princess, coincidentally on her birthday! Except it wasn’t a coincidence because it turned out she actually was the princess, but she didn’t know that. We found that out later. So anyway, Flynn decided we should help her sneak out to see them.” Sora had actually started to feel pretty good, he realized, talking about how much fun it had been overall, although that mood lessened remembering the next part. “Anyway, all was going really well for a while, until Marluxia showed up—he’s an Organization person with pink hair. He seemed to know me for some reason…” Sora narrowed his eyes at Riku, who appeared to flinch upon hearing that. “Hey, you know him, Riku, don’t you?” Sora accused.

Riku sighed and paused for a moment, probably considering whether or not to tell Sora about the man, before finally speaking. “He was in Castle Oblivion; I’d tell you more, but Namine said it could be dangerous for you to know too much about that place—it could damage your memories. So, what happened with him?”

Sora nodded. That was understandable, albeit annoying. “He told us to protect Rapunzel, something about her being the light of the world. Then he just left, with a parting gift of dusks to fight, and we went to the town.” Sora began getting excited again as he told Riku about the town. “There was an awesome massive town dance thing! Riku, we need to come here next time they have a festival so you can dance with me!”

Riku blushed. “Umm. I can’t really dance well…”

“Doesn’t matter! It’s not a show; lots of people were bad at dancing. I probably was too. It was just a big fun thing! You switch between who you dance with a whole lot, stomping and clapping, and then everyone goes in a big circle.”

Riku smiled. “Hmmm. You know what, that does sound kinda fun.”

“Yup! So much fun! And then after that, we saw the lanterns! Those were so beautiful! I need to take you here next time they do those!”

Riku chuckled. “Okay, it’s a date… it sounds like you’re having a lot of fun there.”

Sora smiled. “I am!” Then he paused, and frowned, remembering the reason for this call. “Well, I was.” Sora was quiet for a bit, contemplating. He really had been having a lot of fun. Yet somehow he’d still managed to have his dark thoughts spiral out of control. Nothing really that major happened to cause it, at least objectively. People didn’t normally have such wide emotional swings over such small things...

“What happened after that?” Riku prodded, interrupting Sora’s thoughts.

“Well, like I said, we saw the lanterns, but right in the middle a bunch of nobodies showed up that we had to fight. They always ruin the moment! Anyway, then we went to find Rapunzel, and we saw her walking off with a woman…” Sora hesitated.

“Sora?” Riku prodded.

Sora bit his lip for a moment, then continued. He’d gotten this far in the story after all, and this probably was why he was so upset even though he knew he had little reason to be any more than a little frustrated over it. “Well, Marluxia showed up again. He said that it was Rapunzel’s mother, although later we found out it was a witch who kidnapped her as a baby and hid her in that tower. Anyway, he said that if staying in the tower protected her, that’s what the Organization wanted, because apparently there’s a new seven princesses they can use if we don’t find all our guardians. And then...” Sora bit his lip, nervous. This. This was definitely the thing bothering him the most, the thing that had triggered the spiral of dark thoughts.

“And then?” Riku prodded again.

“Well… I guess this is the main reason I was feeling so down…” Sora paused for a moment, and Riku waited patiently for him to continue, which Sora did after taking a deep breath, steeling himself mentally in preparation for the memory. “Well, I prepared to fight him, but before I could do anything he cast a sleep spell on me. So I really messed up. I should have seen that coming. When I woke up he was gone… it’s my fault. If I hadn’t been so stupid that wouldn’t have happened!” Sora started to feel tears pooling at the corner of his eyes again. Great, just what he needed. He was such a crybaby; why did Riku put up with it? “Why did I let that happen so easily? Why do they keep managing to put me to sleep? I know it was just a normal spell this time, but I still fell into it! I’m so stupid…”

“Sora, you aren’t stupid,” Riku said adamantly. “You got hit by a spell. It happens; he took you by surprise. It isn’t like those other times, not at all. We all get hit by spells all the time; a sleep spell is just another spell. It wasn’t a complicated trap or anything like the other times.”

Sora’s eyes widened in realization. It wasn't the sleep spell at all that had been the issue, was it? Riku was right, it was just a simple spell. Sora sighed. “I’m such an idiot. You’re right, it’s a stupid spell. I shouldn’t be making such a big deal over it.”

Riku shook his head. “You’re not an idiot. And maybe the spell itself isn’t so bad, but the memories it triggered definitely are. It makes perfect sense that you’d feel so bad—it reminds you of some very unpleasant things. It’s probably remembering those things you’re more upset about, not the spell, isn’t it?”

Sora considered Riku’s words. That did made sense. Sleep was a sensitive topic for him—first there had been the year he had been placed in an artificial sleep with Namine and then there had been the end of the Mark of Mastery exam where Xehanort had induced a darkness-based sleep. Marluxia had even briefly taunted him about that as the spell took effect. “Maybe you’re right…” Sora concluded, then realized something else. “Also… it also scared me,” Sora said quietly. “After he put the spell on me, while I was falling asleep… I thought… I was scared that…” Great, the tears had started to fall.

“That you wouldn’t wake up?” Riku suggested quietly.

Sora nodded, trying not to cry more. “What if that happens? What if they put me to sleep again, and I can’t wake up?”

“Then I’ll wake you up,” Riku said resolutely. “Always. I’m your dream-eater, remember? There isn’t any sleep you can fall into that I can’t get you out of. I guarantee it.”

Sora smiled. “You think?”

Riku smiled too. “I know.”

“Awww. Now I wish you were here so I could hug you!”

Riku smiled. “You’ll see me soon enough. We’re gonna reconvene at Yen Sid’s soon, remember?”

Sora’s eyes lit up. “Oh yeah! I forgot!” Sora’s eyes wandered across the meadow, a thought ticking Sora’s mind.

“What’re you thinking?” Riku asked.

“Huh?” Sora snapped out of this thought. “Just, um. I could bring you a flower or two from here if you want? They’re so pretty; what color would you want?… oh, but would you even want a flower?”

Riku smiled. “I’d be happy to receive a flower from you, Sora. Any color you choose.”

Sora beamed. He’d get one in every color, then, a whole bouquet for his Riku!

Riku seemed to predict Sora’s line of thinking. “Don’t bring too many though. Remember, you’ll need to keep them in water while travelling; Corona’s a fair distance from the Tower.”

Sora pouted. “Party pooper…”

Riku chucked. “So, feeling better now?”

Sora beamed. “Yes! You were right, Riku; talking about feelings is definitely much better than… well, you know!”

“SORA!” Came a squawk from off in the distance. “WHERE’D YA GO THIS TIME!?”

Sora cringed. “I think that’s my cue to leave. See you soon?”

Riku smiled. “Can’t wait. Love you.”

Sora beamed. “Love you too!” He pressed the button to end the call, and stood, making sure he had a smile on his face and eyes free of tears as he stretched slightly before dashing off to meet Donald and Goofy, the former who appeared quite annoyed. Sora must have run off further than he’d thought; oops. He’d have to remember to stay a bit closer next time he called Riku.

Sora would definitely call Riku first next time, he decided.


End file.
